Wrote this before you left to China. Remember, had mixed feelings. Interestingly, China.. But there will remain a favorite and everything. Probably the majority will condemn me, but by the time of life I was quite disappointed in the people not to consider such nonsense as a reason to abandon possibilities, and not to develop. I wanted to numb the pain and excitement of the upcoming trip and bought myself a bouquet of tulips, some thirty. Thought draw. But a huge bouquet did not answer what was inside. State akin to sadness and sosredotochenno with which people would fly into space. Then I was afraid of the new. Now back home, looking at the picture, I feel like inside I get the same rod, but not sadness, and quiet strength.