Byirdina Natalya

My name is Natalia Byrdina. I'm an experimental artist, most of my work can be attributed to expressionism. In my work I don't use brushes, pencils, not the usual sketch, no clear plans, no faces and no rules. There are paints that are liquid, they flow into each other, they themselves form otnsheniya with each other, the shape and texture. I only create movement and watching him. The hardest part of my job is learning to trust paint, trust the process that I have created and not try to fix, stop, or control.

Drawing in this technique is like a dance, a dance of feelings and emotions in which there is no staging and choreography, there is a splash, intuitive movement and enjoy the process.
My first project was when I was about 3 years old. I loved the large formats, so the first format that I have mastered, was a door that my sister and I thoroughly ablitily clay. According to my parents, it took them one day to clear this creature was obviously not appreciated :). Therefore, since 4 years I went to mugs on drawing, painting, lacquer-miniatyurnoe painting then was the art school, then at the vital junction, I turned into the road under the name "psychology". Graduated from KNU named by Karazin, Department of psychology, began to study psychoanalysis, worked in state service, then in private practice. The study of psychoanalysis, meant primarily the study itself, and usually, it meant pain, severe pain. But along with this pain, I realized, a lot. I don't wonder about the meaning of life, I already know what's the meaning of life, for me it felt. And now I don't need to risk, to admire the acrobats, watching heavy movies to experience certain feelings. It all now lives in me. Before, I was trying to study themselves, their patients, that was exciting, difficult, but very interesting. And now all of my paintings dedicated to feelings, emotions. If you see the title of the painting "the Storm", you know this is only a symbolic image of what is happening with me. So each of my work is about me, about me, that in some species the exposure of my experiences. All you see is my revelation.
If the work of the psychoanalytic psychotherapist to compare with the work of the artist, it turns out that it has a lot in common. For instance, I used carefully and with interest considered the inner world of the patient, lined up in the puzzles of his life, character, his interpersonal and intrapersonal relationships. Writing is like oil painting, where you walk through the first layer to the finish layer. Now I stare at what was around me and within me and pass not through words but through colors, shapes and textures. I used to removed layer by layer in your patient like an onion, now I create multi-layered work. It is the layering that attracts me in my chosen techniques, then each layer is complicated, globlal previous.
In order to draw I don't have inspiration, I don't even really understand the phrase - to find an inspiration, a Muse. I always have something to say, even when there are no words, it is possible to speak about peace and silence. The only difficulty I face is to remember all the ideas that arise and bring them to life.
In my childhood, when I was engaged in painting, I treated this as a hobby, as something fun, but growing up I never thought I would become an artist. the process of painting have always liked me, but I could not overcome the exposure that you feel when someone looks at your work. I always felt that show the innermost. So when my parents showed my children their friends and colleagues, it's caused me a lot of emotions and confusion, and anger, and pride, and many others. Then I was not ready for all this manifold of feelings.
But thanks to psychoanalysis, to my husband, I started painting again.